The Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, published a guest essay in the NY Times[1] entitled “We Have Become a Lonely Nation. It’s Time to Fix That.” He bravely points to his own life and personal battles with loneliness. He openly talks about being with people, while at the same time not being with them. While seated across from family, friends, and colleagues, he was still alone as he checked emails, news, and social media. He had allowed other things to chip away at his personal connections until he was neck-deep into loneliness.
We may not be the Surgeon General, but we live in the land of loneliness. About one out of every two Americans is experiencing a measurable amount of loneliness. While men and women have about the same likelihood of loneliness, there are groups that are more vulnerable. Young adults are twice as likely to be alone than seniors. People with lower incomes report more loneliness than those with higher incomes. Mothers struggle more with loneliness than fathers while single mothers are much more likely to feel lonely[2].
Many people and organizations have written about this loneliness epidemic, and they are much better equipped than I am to express the problem clearly. When you look over their recommendations, they rightly center around bringing people together. Whether it’s at work, at home, or within the community, you need to encourage connection and engagement directly and personally between people. They also clearly describe that each person wants to feel their purpose and that they belong.
I don’t know about you, but I have two immediate and wildly different reactions.
First, I applaud their recognition that people need people. That no matter how great our technological advancements are, nothing replaces the deep-seated need that we have to be with other people.
Second, I want to shake my head and say, “Where have you been?” But then sanity and a gracious spirit returns and I welcome them as friends to help fight this epidemic.
In order to rightly fight this outbreak of loneliness, we have to admit that we were made for relationships. God made us in His image for a relationship with Him[3]. When God saw Adam living in the garden with all those animals, it wasn’t good. His diagnosis was that it was not good for the man to be alone[4]
This should shock us! It should make us sit up and take notice. Before this, God said that everything was good. This is the first time in recorded history that God says that something’s not good. When God sees us as alone, he not only says we’re alone, but He does something about it. He makes and gives Eve to Adam to solve his aloneness[5].
Now, I don’t want to make too big a deal out of this, but I think it’s important to observe something. God sees Adam as alone and He does something about it. He doesn’t ignore Adams’ aloneness. He doesn’t think that it will just go away. That it will magically fix itself.
No, God springs into action. And the same should be true for us. When we see loneliness creeping into our lives, when we feel it nibbling around the edges of our hearts, we need to act. We can’t just ignore it. We must take action.
The same is true when we see someone else drifting into loneliness. To ignore them is to turn our back on someone for whom Christ died. We need to speak up and encourage them to take action. Loneliness isn’t like the outgoing tide at the ocean – all you have to do is nothing and it will eventually come back. No, loneliness needs action. Action to make connection with others.
And oh, by the way, where is there any better solution to loneliness than a Small Group?
The world has this disease of loneliness and God’s people have the cure. The solution. Our eternal separation and loneliness from God was once-and-for-all cured through Jesus’ death on the cross. Our daily, human loneliness is best addressed through Small Groups. So, what’s stopping us from getting out there?
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/30/opinion/loneliness-epidemic-america.html
[3] Genesis 1:27
[4] Genesis 2:18
[5] Genesis 2:22
